Dear Santa, I Can Explain
by Silver Hunteress
Summary: Inspired by a new pair of Christmas socks. No I'm not kidding The Yugioh gang's letters to Santa as they try to make the usual excuses. Rating for safety Mentions of Yaoi, yuri, and het. NOW WITH PLOT!
1. Pegasus V 20

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Will mention Yaoi, Yuri and Het pairings nothing graphic planned if that changes warnings will be on chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any brand names I am writing this for enjoyment and I am making no money off of it.

**NOW WITH PLOT!**

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Chapter 1 Pegasus V 2.0

_Dear Santa,_

_I swear I can explain. I know I haven't been the best little boy this year, but I have been doing what I can to make up for it. I haven't been making a nuisance of myself. (Well, too much anyway) I haven't tried to violently take over Kaiba-boy's company at any rate, but he's just too much fun to tease!_

_Now, I know it probably wasn't a good idea to poke fun at Jou-boy while Kaiba-boy could hear… but dumping that punch bowl over my head for ONE little lewd comment was highly unnecessary! I am the victim in that situation! _

_Anyway, Santa, all I want for Christmas is my darling Cecilia._

_If you still can't manage that, I'd like some new paints and brushes. And a new Funny Bunny plush, my old one burst, it was a casualty of a pillow fight that took place between so far unidentified intruders. Hmmm, while I'm at it, do you think you could find a way to locate those security tapes that went missing? And the silver?_

_If not that's all right I just want to know how the blazes they got into my castle!_

_Well I guess that's—OH WAIT WAIT WAIT! Santa, please, PLEASE leave some form of irrefutable evidence at Kaiba-boy's he still refuses to believe that magic (and by extent you) exist._

_Yours truly,_

_Maximilian__J. Pegasus _

(Time change)

"So anyway, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus was saying, "Since those imbeciles at the security company have been stalling for so long, they've just now arranged to update the system on the 24th."

"I fail to see the point to this story, Pegasus," Seto dryly remarked into the phone.

"The point is that I don't trust these simpletons and plan to supervise them myself. After all, the original 'fail-proof' system proved useless. I intend to make sure that this one is properly installed. Therefore, I am afraid I must be absent at the Christmas party. I doubt I'll be missed though, eh, Kaiba-boy?"

"Probably not," the younger CEO agreed, "Very well, I'll mark you off the guest list."

"Terribly sorry about it, Kaiba. You know I hate to break with a holiday tradtion but I refuse to loose more property to those thieves. Say hello to Jonuchi and your darling brothers for me!"

"Hn."

"Ta!" _Click!_

Seto turned to the list and crossed off Pegasus's name. Odd, though, that this would be the first time someone missed the party since the tradition began four years ago.


	2. Yugi V 20

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Implied Puzzleshipping

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Chapter 2 Yugi V2.0

_Dear Santa,_

_Thank you soooo much for last year's present! I have no idea how you managed to get a copy of the Double Helix (1) video game when every store sold out in one day and I really don't care either. It's a great game and I love it!_

_And, ummm, Santa I can TOTALLY explain what happened at the mall last weekend. See, this will be Yami's first Christmas in his own body, and well, while he DID see all of the Christmas displays like the Santa's village and stuff through my eyes, he never really got the full grasp of it._

_I swear!_ _Him hitting that mall Santa was a completely innocent reflex! He just saw someone looming ominously (he thought) over his shoulder out of the corner of his eye! And y'know with the white hair and all he thought it was Bakura trying to pull a prank on him or something._

_Ok, so maybe it wasn't an innocent one, per say, but it WAS just a reflex._

_He didn't mean to send that fake elf to the Shadow Realm either; he thought I was being sexually harassed. (I so do NOT look young enough to sit in a mall Santa's lap!)_

_Any way in spite of Yami's perverted influence I've been well behaved this year (except for that one time I forgot about helping Jii-chan and went to the arcade with the guys instead)._

_For Christmas I'd like a new duel disk (my old one got knocked off my nightstand), that new game board for Capsule Monsters, and the hardest puzzle game you can find. (PLEASE I need a challenge!)_

_Thank you very much!_

_Sincerely,_

_Yugi Moto_

_P.S. If you can do anything to make Kaiba-kun's holiday easier I'm sure he'd appreciate it, he seems stressed._

(Do the TIME WARP! ... sorry)

"I'm really sorry, Kaiba-kun, but this is the first time my father's made it home before Christmas in years. And He's never met Yami before so everyone kinda wants it to just be a quiet Christmas. So-"

"Yugi, it doesn't matter," Seto interrupted. "As far as I'm concerned the fewer people in my house the better."

"Still-"

"Good-bye, Yugi."

"Merry-" _Click!_ "-Christmas," he finished somewhat lamely.

Yami chuckled, "I take it Kaiba won't miss us?"

Yugi didn't answer.

"Aibou?"

Yugi jumped slightly, "Sorry, Yami. I was just thinking."

"About?" Yami prompted.

"Well, I feel kind of guilty, I mean, every year we've had this party no one has ever canceled. Suddenly, Kaiba's name gets drawn to have it and we're bailing? What if he thinks we just don't want to be there?"

"Aibou, even Kaiba knows you can't lie to save your life. I'm sure he understands and besides," Yami winked, "If it weren't for Jou, Mokuba, and Noa he wouldn't even be hosting. He only attends under protest any other time."

Yugi grinned, "Yeah, you're right. Besides, everyone else is still going to be there."

* * *

1- as far as I know this game doesn't exist. So don't go looking for it.


	3. Yami

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Implied Puzzle, Tender, Bronze, and Puppy shipping

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Chapter 3 Yami

_Dear Santa,_

_Yugi said I should make sure to apologize for what's been dubbed as 'The Mall Incident'. And I do apologize for hitting the innocent in the Santa suit but that elf had it coming!_

_He was leering at __my__ Yugi!_

_No one leers at __MY__ Yugi but me!_

_That's why he's __**MY**__ Yugi and no one else's!_

_Don't worry though, Yugi made me bring him back, unfortunately._

_Er, sorry, didn't mean to write that._

_Now I have a question: What exactly constitutes a 'good' boy?_

_You see, I haven't really gotten in any significant trouble (aside from 'The Mall Incident') but, well, I'm an average teenage male who has been celibate for 5,000 years. Naturally that would make me a bit well… to put it delicately… oh to hell with it, I'll be frank, a horndog._

_Hopefully, you see my dilemma._

_Since I cannot truthfully say, one way or the other if I have been good I suppose I'll just ask and leave the matter of judgment up to you._

_I would like Duel Monsters Cards (Grandpa STILL makes me pay for them), scented candles, massage oil, and a restraining order for the thief, Malik, and Marik._

_Also, don't let those three destroy Kaiba's house at the party._

_No one deserves that._

_Not even Kaiba._

_Signed,_

_The Almighty Pharaoh Yami_

(I am a Time Change)

Yami almost felt sorry for Kaiba, then again he felt sorry for anyone who had to face the Terrible Three but fair was fair, and anyone who attended the now traditional Yugi-tachi Christmas party put their names in a lot to host the next one.

Heh heh, the look on Kaiba's face was priceless.

But still, Yami hoped that Ishizu, Rishid, and Ryo could keep the three in line without Yami's threat of banishment hanging over them.

Well, Ryo could control Bakura easily enough, just threaten him with no sex (same way Jou convinced Kaiba to host the party in the first place). And Malik, who's gotten marginally more tolerable, could do the same with Marik, once Ishizu threatened him with manual labor.

Now Kaiba would just have to remove most of his valuables… and he'd be fine.

No need to worry, he was more than capable of handling a little informal gathering of friends.

…Right?


	4. Bakura

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Tendershipping, Bakura being a pervert, and mentions of AHEM! toys.

_

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_

Chapter 4 Bakura

_Dear Fat Guy,_

_I can explain everything._

_You see, that thing with Pegasus's plush?_

_Total accident._

_Malik got knocked down during the pillow fight and when he tried to break his fall those sharp things on the sides of the Millennium Rod tore through the thing like the mutt through an all-you-can-eat buffet._

_So we went looking for something to fix the rabbit with. Honest!_

_And y'know? Pegsy should really do something about his security. I mean all of that priceless antique silver was just sitting there in an underground, lead-lined vault with a sixteen-digit pass code where anyone could just walk off with it._

_Same with those surveillance tapes._

_Speaking of which, I have no idea how all of that stuff made it to my house._

_I'm totally innocent._

_Unlike Yami._

_Did you know that he hit me last week at the mall for no reason?_

_I was just standing behind him, getting ready to steal his wallet, and he decks me!_

_Anyway, for Christmas I want a set of lock picks (Ryo got rid of my last set), something I can use to climb walls, four new fake I.D.s, handcuffs, anklecuffs, cockrings, a collar and leash, bondage rope, and a clean police record. (None of those were my fault in the first place!) And if you can do something to make Ryo more receptive to the use and… __enjoyment__ of those gifts that'd be great._

_Oh yeah, let the priest win against the pharaoh, it used to be amusing but now it's just pathetic._

_And the look on that bas- baka's face would be priceless…_

_-Bakura_

(I am a time who has changed)

"Bakura?" the hikari's tone was suspicious.

"Yes, yadonushi?" asked Bakura sweetly.

"Where did all of this silver come from?"

The former spirit started sweating, "Ummm… what silver?"

"The antique silver shoved under your bed with a flying horse engraved on every piece that I found while trying to collect your laundry," Ryo told him flatly, holding an ornate goblet in one hand and a laundry basket tucked under the other arm.

"Oh!" Bakura cried, "THAT silver! Well, I'm uh," _Damn when did lying to him get so hard?_ "I'm keeping it safe for Pegasus!"

Ryo raised an eyebrow, "Really? Does he know that you're keeping it safe?'

"Well his secruity's awful, Ryo, he should be grateful that I'm helping him out. I mean it was all just sitting where anyone could take it!"

"Kura?" he asked giving his lover 'the look' (Yeah you know the one) "Where was the silver?"

"Ummm, in the vault?"

"Uh-huh. Well at least I know what to get Pegasus this year."

"What?"

"HIS STUFF BACK!" Ryo yelled, stalking off to finish his laundry and retrieve the rest of the stolen property.

Bakura pouted, Ryo was only fun in bed, anymore.

* * *

ROTF! Man I think I set the bar high with this one! 


	5. Interlude: Mass Exodus

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Puppy shipping, minor language

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Chapter 5: Interlude: Mass Exodus

(Kaiba Manor)

When Seto got home from work he was met with an interesting sight.

Cabs. A whole line of them were waiting around the driveway.

"What. The. Hell?"

There were two soft curses muttered by the CEOs two companions. Seto turned to the nearest, Isono, and asked with venom-laced sweetness, "Isono? What's going on?"

The man coughed and stammered, "W-well, Kaiba-sama, I um, couldn't help but notice that Yami-san and Yugi-san would be absent at the party and well…"

The limo driver spoke up, "We're all scared to death of what that vampire guy and those blonde twins are going to do… sir," he added hastily.

Kaiba's eye twitched, "So you're all using vacation time to get out of here as soon as possible, am I right?"

At least Isono had the grace to look sheepish, "Yes, sir. The request forms are in your study."

Seto glared as the limo pulled to a stop, "Cowards."

As he and his employees exited the vehicle the trunk opened with a pop, and Isono grabbed the two suitcases within, handing one to the driver.

"You're both pathetic you know."

"No, sir," the driver said brightly, "we're survivalists." And with that he opened the door to the nearest cab.

As though it was a signal, the door to the mansion opened and every member of the Kaiba Manor household staff vacated the building.

To their credit they all steered clear of their employer allowing him to reach his house without being jostled by suitcases. As he watched the exodus from his foyer he couldn't help but yell, "Traitors!" at the retreating cabs.

"No Señor(1)," said the elderly Puerto Rican woman who was Seto's chief housekeeper(2), "They're afraid of what those diablos will do. Either at the party or during the preparations."

"So you're leaving me to deal with them on my own, Rosa?"

The woman patted his cheek reassuringly like a child, "You can scare them off, the rest of us are like fish in a barrel." With that she set off down the porch steps, Isono had graciously lingered to help her down the icy marble, as both knew that Seto would not be firing anyone for this little stunt (even if the younger staff members expressed their doubts) as he could not really blame them for wanting to run.

"Bueno suerte, jeffe!(3)" Rosa called as the door to the last cab shut.

"I hate you all," Seto growled to his absent staff before shutting the door.

Seto heard stifled laughter coming from behind him and turned to see his boyfriend barely holding himself up via, living room doorway, "I can't believe they seriously left," he gasped.

Seto scowled, "Like rats from a sinking ship."

"I still don't get why though," Jou admitted.

"Yami and Yugi are staying home to spend Christmas with Yugi's father, and they're all afraid of the psychos."

"Ah," Jou said, "that makes sense." Then the blonde frowned, "But who's gonna help you decorate?"

Seto looked Katsuya right in the eye, "Who do you think?"

"Ugh..." Jou groaned, "I'll go get the other two..." he said before wearily plodding up the stairs already tired by the mere thought of what laid in store. But he was mildly consoled by the hope that decorating his own home would put Seto in more of a Christmas-y mood.

* * *

1- if you don't know what this means... wow but it means 'Mr.' or 'sir'

2- Ugh don't ask but I always picture Seto's housekeeper as an older, motherly type, kinda chubby, and with an accent she was originaly going to be Mexican but I randomly decided Puerto Rican instead

3- 'Good luck, boss!'


	6. Ryo

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Mentions of Tender and Puppy shipping

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Chapter 6 Ryo

_Dear Santa,_

_All I want for Christmas is my sanity back. Please?_

_And cut Kaiba-kun some slack with the party, I'm sure it's a nightmare for him._

_Arigatou,_

_Ryo Bakura_

(Two words!... First word...Time!... Second word...Change!)

"Kaiba-kun!" Ryo called running to catch the brunette before he disappeared into the crowd. The hikari was mildly surprised to find that the CEO had paused to allow him to catch up, but Ryo was not about to question the small blessing. "Christmas shopping?" he asked breathlessly, once he'd reached the other.

"No, I came here for the social interaction," came the sarcastic retort.

Ryo rolled his eyes, when he'd first arrived in Domino such a frosty reception would have sent him scurrying back in the direction he'd come from, but by dint of being Bakura's hikari-slash-roommate-slash-boyfriend-slash-maid Kaiba simply wasn't frightening anymore.

"Well, I thought I'd tell you now since I saw you, Otousan invited Bakura and I to Egypt for Christmas, we leave on Christmas Eve. So I'm sorry we won't be there, I'm sure it would be wonderful, Jou-kun says that the servants are fantastic decorators."

"Don't worry too much about it. Without you two there's less chance of my things going missing."

Ryo frowned mentally, only Kaiba-kun could be reassuring and insulting in the same breath. "Well, Merry Christmas, Kaiba-kun," Ryo left not even waiting for a response as he doubted he'd get one.

"You too."

Ryo smiled to himself, _Jou-kun you are a miracle worker._

_

* * *

_

Lol. I couldn't help myself with Ryo's letter! I had to do it!


	7. Malik and Marik

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Implied Bronze shipping, implied sex minor language (I say shit once)

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Chapter 7 Malik and Marik

_Dear Santa,_

_I can explain._

_All of those things that Marik, Bakura, and I do?_

_I'm only there to try and stop them! But they don't listen to me! Instead they drag me along!_

_I __tried__ to talk Marik out of drying that gerbil off in the microwave. But would he listen? _

_No._

_All I could do was distract him long enough for the gerbil to get away. So instead Marik started drying the silverware in it when Ishizu asked us to do the dishes._

_Needless to say, we need a new microwave. But that's not what I'm asking for!_

_I also tried to tell Bakura that Pegasus would be mad enough that he and Marik ripped his plush apart (and then had the nerve to blame me when Ishizu asked about that pink ear Marik kept as a souvenir) and that taking the silver wasn't a good idea but he wouldn't listen to me either!_

_And if someone tries to tell you that the robbery at Firework Emporium and those stuffed toys at Toys R Us that were blown up by some of the missing fireworks was my fault, they're lying._

_I __told__ Rishid that I had no idea where all those bottle rockets came from, or why they were in my sock drawer…_

_But I've been good Santa, and for Christmas I want fireworks (especially the ones that explode), fake vomit, stink bombs, smoke bombs, some of those sugar cubes with fake bugs in them, some of those ice cubes with fake bugs in them, exploding golf balls (the fact that my science professor plays golf is a total coincidence), exploding chewing gum, those cap things that make the gum explode, laxatives that dissolve in liquids, one of those packs of gum with a mousetrap in it, shit in a can, a remote control fart machine, a sneezing powder, itching powder, fake car scratches (that has nothing to do with Kaiba's new Farrari), various fake bugs, and a rubber chicken._

_Actually, forget the car scratches._

_Remember I'm the innocent one._

_Malik_

Marik was reading over his hikari's shoulder. "Do you really think he's going to buy all of that bull, Hikari-pretty?"

"I doubt it," Malik admitted, "but I'm not so bad that I'll get nothing, he might get me some of the more harmless stuff. After all, I did save the gerbil."

Marik pouted, "But you still lied, Malik, you didn't distract me, you bribed me with sex to return that little fur ball to the neighbor kid after I decided to see if they could swim."

Malik scowled, "Well, that did distract you. And the gerbil was saved so I get points for that. And if you're so honest, let's see your letter."

Marik shrugged and handed over the paper.

_Old man,_

_I want my own microwave, various small, furry animals, various small, metal objects, and various flammable chemicals._

_Oh and for the priest to get his head out of his ass._

_Marik _

Malik stared, and blinked. "Well," he said at length, "at least you're blunt and to the point."

* * *

A/N I couldn't think of a seperate chapter for Marik so he's put together with Malik. But I don't think he minds. 


	8. Ishizu and Rishidkinda

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: None

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Chapter 8 Ishizu and Rishid... kinda

_Dear Santa,_

_Don't believe anything Malik or Marik say in their letters._

_I would like a new microwave, replacement silverware, and a year's supply of aspirin._

_Also don't let those two wreak too much havoc at Kaiba-san's party._

_Sincerely,_

_Ishizu_

_P.S. As Rishid won't ask I will; he would very much appreciate a replacement for the laptop that was a casualty of prank war._

In the Ishtar kitchen, the phone rang. Ishizu, who was in the living room wrapping gifts while Malik and Marik were terrorizing innocent bystanders in the park, looked up and started to rise but sat once again as the phone cut off midway through the second ring.

A few moments later Rishid emerged from the kitchen, "Lady Ishizu, there is a phone call for you."

"Thank you, Rishid," she replied, following him into the kitchen.

The only female Ishtar picked up the phone from where it had been lain on the counter, and subconsciously twined her fingers in the cord as she spoke.

Rishid returned to his sandwich preparation (he'd volunteered to make lunch as Lady Ishizu preformed the traditional wrapping of gifts and other pre-Christmas activities) while idly wondering why the curator of The Domino Museum of History was calling on the Ishtars' day off.

"Of course, sir," Ishizu was saying, "Yes… Good-bye, sir." After hanging up she let out a noise of frustration.

"Is something wrong?" Rishid asked.

"Yes, you and I are expected to pack and transport the Egyptian exhibit to New York City by New Year's Eve."

"That's not so bad," the elder consoled.

"And set up the exhibit in New York, as well as attend the opening of it," she sighed, "I don't think we'd be able to leave any later than Christmas."

"And we wouldn't be back until the new year, at the earliest."

"We can't leave the boys here, either."

"It would seem," Rishid started, "that we must call Seto Kaiba and notify him of our absence."

Ishizu nodded, "The curator got four tickets for a plane that leaves Christmas Eve. I'll call Kaiba-san and you can tell the boys that we'll be spending our holiday working."

Rishid scowled, "Coward."

"Cautious," she countered, dialing the phone, "Marik's never liked me, but you've grown on him." The Egyptian woman listened to the ringing, then… "Yes, Kaiba-san? … This is Ishizu, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

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A/N Yeah another doubled one, but really, Rishid doesn't strike me as one to write to Santa (neither does Ishizu but she's more likely than Rishid I think) 


	9. Honda and Blankeykinda

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Implied Chase shipping

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Chapter 9 Honda and Blankey

_Dear Santa,_

_I didn't have anything to do with it._

_Ryuji may try to blame me, but it's his own fault._

_How the hell am I supposed to know the 'proper' way to wash silk?_

_He shouldn't have put it in the laundry or he could have waited for his turn to wash clothes if I wasn't supposed to throw it in with everything else. (Like I'm going to read labels?)_

_It's also sooo not my fault that Blankey got a hold of that ridiculously expensive hair gel he uses. He should have picked it up when it fell off the dresser in the first place._

_Oh well, there's no changing his mind, sometimes._

_For Christmas I'd like someone at the front desk who actually __knows__ what a carburetor __IS__, for Ryuji to leave his hair down more than once in a blue moon, a new motorcycle jacket (my old one has gotten small, and Ryuji stole it), for Blankey to cooperate __JUST ONCE__ with a bath, and for Kaiba Corp not to be subject to an attempted hostile take over during the holidays (Well what ELSE could I get Kaiba, unless I stick a big ribbon on Jou?)._

_Blankey wants dog treats, some new chew toys, and for Ryuji to get the message that a blanket on the floor does __NOT__ cut it in winter and she'll be sleeping either in our bed or on the couch, thank you very much._

_Yours truly,_

_Hiroto Honda_

(The Time Change Strikes Again)

"Hiroto!" Ryuji called from the kitchen, "Your dog is giving me weird looks again!"

Honda sighed, he didn't understand why it was so difficult for them to get along. Admittedly, Blankey had seniority, but Ryuji was, well, his boyfriend. It was honestly hard to say who came out on top…

Mostly because Ryu would never forgive him for picking Blankey, and Blankey would leave a nasty surprise in his shoe if he chose Ryu. Don't laugh, she'd done it before.

So he'd long since decided to remain neutral in the daily Dog/Dragon Wars, but he still heaved himself from the couch to referee in order to make sure there was no tackling, biting, or scratching with stubby little nails.

After all Ryuji was heavier and might actually do some damage.

Upon entering the kitchen Honda felt dread in the pit of his stomach.

"You're trying to bake cookies?" Insert terrified screaming here.

Ryuji looked up indignantly from his mixing bowl, "Correction, Hiroto, I am making cookies. And they are going to be fabulous. Well they will be once that furball stops creeping me out." The dice master jabbed his spoon in his nemesis's direction for emphasis.

Honda followed the spoon's indication and saw the German Shepard watching the baking attempt with interest.

"She's looking at me like she looks at her food dish," Ryuji insisted.

The brunette sighed, "Correction, Ryuji," he said borrowing his boyfriend's own words, "she's staring at your cookie dough the way she stares at her food dish."

Ryuji lowered his spoon, "Oh."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence as masters stared at dog and dog stared at bowl.

Blankey licked her lips.

Ryuji cleared his throat, "Well at least she as good taste." With that he bustled toward the oven from his kitchen table workstation, swatting his lover's finger from the dough as he moved.

Honda pouted, "I get the bowl if these are any good."

"They will be Hiroto, I asked your mom for her recipies."

Mollified and even encouraged, the brunette bravely stuck his finger into an off white mixture, licking it off, he frowned the flavor was familiar, but he could not place it. He stuck his finger in again he tried another bit.

A few minutes later Ryuji had put his cookies into the oven when…

"Okay Ryuji, I give up, what's this white batter?"

Confused, Ryuji turned, "What white-?" All color drained from his face, "HIROTO! That's just raw eggs and milk!" he screeched.

Two and a half hours later Ryuji had found a pay phone to tell Jou that no they weren't going anywhere until Hiroto had recovered from the food poisoning...

* * *

A/N This chapter was a bear to come up with. But I firmly believe that Ryuji and Blankey would have a rivalry going on. 

A/N 2 I don't know how long it would take for Honda to recover but for the sake of my plot, he's sick as a dog Blankey barks in protest -it's just an expression- until further notice.


	10. Ryuji

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

Warnings: Implied Chase shipping mild swearing

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Chapter 10 Ryuji

_Dear Santa,_

_I __cannot__ believe him!_

_Honestly! __How could he have been so dense as to eat an unidentified substance?_

_At least he's paying for it._

_Don't worry, I feel too bad about it to tease him._

_Anyway, for Christmas I want a replacement shirt for the one Hiroto ruined, replacement gel for the bottle Blankey ruined, for Hiroto to stop pestering me to leave my hair down, a dog hair free apartment, and for the stick to come out of Kaiba's ass._

_Thanks,_

_Ryuji Otogi_

(I am the Spirit of Time changes past)

_The good thing about Hiroto being sick,_ Ryuji thought, _is that the dog lies in bed with him._

The raven-haired game inventor sighed in bliss, there were no tug-of-wars with garlands, no chasing rolling baubles all over the apartment, no running off with branches from the artificial tree… but no Honda either…

He'd never noticed how much space Hiroto occupied until he'd been absent, confined to bed-rest on Ryuji's orders.

He'd also never noticed what a mess the tree lights got into until he'd been faced with untangling them himself…

Pursing his lips and thinking for a moment, Ryuji suddenly snagged a few boxes of decorations and walked down the hall.

"Hiroto?" he called softly as he nudged the door open.

"Yeah?" the brunette asked, setting down the motorcycle magazine he was reading, he still looked a bit green and a trash can was close by but he looked better than yesterday.

Ryuji scowled as he noticed the dog stretched out on his side of the bed. "If you're feeling up to it, wanna help me unknot these lights?"

Hiroto hesitated and suddenly groaned, "Ugh… Ryu I don't feel so good…"

"Faker," the other accused, setting the boxes down and tossing the lights onto the bed, "C'mon help me with this."

Grinning unabashedly he admitted, "All right you caught me. But maybe we should just buy new lights…" he added leaning forward to try and find an end of the mass.

A few minutes of grumbling and curses later… and…

"BLANKEY! BRING THAT BACK!" Ryuji bellowed as the Shepard made her escape, the wreath the couple usually hung on the front door clamped firmly in her jaws.

* * *

A/N: Yeah this one was another bear. I also think I overused elipses (or what ever you call these things ... ) 

Different from the rest but a nice tribute to an underapriciated pairing I think. And I get to have more fun with the Ryuji vs. Blankey thing. (She's starting to remind me of my cats though... -.-" )


	11. Interlude: Resort

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Implied Puppy shipping

* * *

Chapter 11 Interlude Resort

"Jou, I really think this is enough mistletoe," Seto said, looking around the room, the entire mansion had, under the blonde's insistence, become a veritable minefield of the festive plants.

And considering three-fourths of the house's inhabitants were family members, well…

Awkwardness ensued until the brothers silently agreed to ignore tradition when they had the misfortune to be caught under the sprigs of greenery with one another.

Jou frowned, "Yeah I think I overdid it, let's just keep the ones in the living room for the party, 'kay?"

_What party?_ Seto wondered, _half the guest list cancelled._ Then he remembered, as far as Jou knew only Yami, Yugi, Honda, and Otogi would be gone, he'd told the blonde of the first two, and that idiot dice duelist had called Jou personally.

But Katsuya'd looked so happy; Seto'd never found a moment to tell him. _Oh well,_ he figured, _it won't hurt to keep him in the dark._

That part figured out, Seto took in his lover's first statement. Since when does the puppy give in so easily? Usually he'd protest and plead with the brunette until he inevitably caved. Seto smirked, "Okay, who'd you have to kiss?"

"Erm, the UPS guy. I think you were right to say we shouldn't put any by the front door, 'cause he was NOT attractive."

Seto laughed. He was, in spite of himself, enjoying the decorating; the four housemates had even had a tinsel fight while trimming the tree (much to the CEO's later embarrassment).

He'd decided years ago to suck it up and make the best out of Christmas, for his brother's and more recently Katsuya's sake. Since the two had become a couple the blonde had spent the holiday (and later everyday) at the Mansion, away from his indifferent father and his appalled and disgusted mother.

This would be the fifth year since they last had what could be deemed as a civil conversation, even by Seto's lax standards in what 'civility' merits. And the brunette had every intention of driving depressing thoughts of that- that- HARPY (no offense to Kujaku) out of the puppy's mind.

"I'll get the stepladder," Seto offered in the face of Jonuchi's miffed glare from his hilarity moments ago. And, placated, the shorter smiled and went to fetch a wastebasket to hold the dratted plants.

When the de-mining was successfully underway the lovers heard the front door open and the cheerful voices of the younger Kaiba's calling greetings to their guardians, and inquiries as to their location.

"UPSTAIRS!" Jou bellowed. Causing Seto to wince, Katsu was always so loud.

A few minutes later the elder two were joined not only by Mokuba and Noa but by the pair's kind-of-sort-of-but-not-quite girlfriends Shizuka and Rebecca. All four were sporting angelic looks, and the blonde pipsqueak was holding something behind her back.

"No," Seto said, tossing yet another piece of mistletoe into the trash can and stepping down from the ladder.

"But Seto!" Noa protested, "We didn't even ask yet!"

"It's not a toy or anything!" Mokuba promised.

Seto glanced at Jou who gave him a 'what could it hurt to listen?' look and sighed, "You have five minutes, sell me."

"Skiing," Noa proclaimed as if it were the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Skiing?" Seto asked.

"Yup," Mokuba took the pamphlet that Rebecca handed him, "Professor Hawkins heard about this place, it's called Holiday Lodge. It's way up in the mountains, almost a twelve hour drive, he says it's a renovated place that he stayed at years ago, it has great mountains, an onsen, and a whole bunch of services and in the resort entertainment."

"You sound like an infomercial," Jou informed him.

Rebecca scowled, "The point is that it'd be fun, Grandpa'd be with us the whole time, we'd all be out of your hair for the holidays, and you guys can have fun and get wasted without worrying about setting a bad example."

"Rebecca!" Shizuka reprimanded her friend, really the girl was too blunt.

Noa ignored the two and focused on Seto, "Well…?"

"You had me at way up in the mountains."

"**YES!!!!**"

Five seconds later, all that was left of the teenagers was the pamphlet, slowly drifting to the floor…

* * *

WAHHH! I'M SOOOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!!!! 


	12. Mai

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Warnings: Dance shipping implied perversion

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

* * *

Chapter 12 Mai

_Dear Santa, _

_I know there's no excuse for teasing them, but it's way too much fun! I mean have you seen how much they blush?_

_It's hilarious!_

_You'd think after dating they're yamis Yugi and Ryo wouldn't be so God-damned virginal but Yami's the same as Yugi and Ryo's just… uh… Ryo I guess…_

_And I still haven't managed to bring my little Anzu over to the dark side yet, so she blushes like a nun at a strip-club._

_Ahhh, it's fun being a pervert…_

_Aside from that I've been on my best behavior and that statement got the Anzu Seal of Approval. ;D _

_For Christmas I'll have some new cards to help out my Harpies and Amazons, you can never have enough jewelry, particularly earrings, that adorable Prada handbag I saw when I was shopping for Anzu yesterday, some new boots to match it, and for random people to stop asking me who my plastic surgeon is (MY BOOBS ARE __REAL__ GOD-DAMMIT!)._

_Oh yeah, and for Kaiba to have a relaxing Christmas, after that thing with the board of directors he deserves it._

_Thanks, hon,_

_Mai Kujaku_

(Time change)

Mai looked out the hotel room window and sighed. The snow was still blowing fiercely outside, the weather report was on the TV and the overly perky woman onscreen had just gotten done saying that the blizzard didn't look like it would clear up anytime soon.

Damn, if it weren't for that stupid tournament she and Anzu wouldn't be stuck in Tokyo right now. They were only a few hours drive from Domino but the snow and ice made travel too dangerous at the moment.

The blonde turned to glare at the trophy, "This is all your fault."

"Oh, come on, Mai," Anzu consoled, moving to wrap her arms around her girlfriend, "no one knew that there'd be a blizzard. And besides, you're not going to pass up a chance to beat the snot out of Vivian Wong when you get it."

"True," Mai admitted. "But it looks like we're going to be stuck here longer than we thought."

"Yeah," the brunette murmured, looking at the snowstorm, fortunately the city still had power. "We should probably tell Kaiba we won't be able to make it…"

"Go ahead, sweetie."

"Why not you?"

"I don't know, but for some reason I'm mad at him… almost like he insulted my deck…"

Anzu gave her lover an odd look, "Ooookaaayyy," before making her apologies to the CEO of Kaiba Corp.

* * *

WAHHHH!!!! Sorry for the delay!!! 


	13. Anzu

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Warnings: Yuri, Mai's perversion, mentions of nudity

* * *

Chapter 13 Anzu

_Dear Santa,_

_My good-girl streak continues and to celebrate I'd like a new pair of pointes, some new leg-warmers, that totally cute but way-too-expensive suede coat, that white gold ballerina pendant, Shigure Shoma-sensei's new romance novel and for Kaiba-kun's party to go smoothly._

_Oh, and for Mai to stop being a pervert, I love her but can she at least tone it down in public? Anyway, thanks in advance._

_Yours truly,_

_Anzu Mazaki_

(IIIII'mmm Baaack! And I'm still a time change!)

"Aannnzuuuu!" Mai whined.

"What?"

"I'm booorrrrred!" the blonde groaned as she collapsed on the bed. Anzu just laughed and continued stretching.

"It's not funny!" Mai defended, "We've been stuck here for three extra days already and we've watched everything worth watching on T.V. to the point of disinterest."

Anzu stood up from her final stretch, "Well, we haven't checked out what's in the hotel yet. I hear they have a steam room, and the pool's supposed to be nice."

Mai perked up and the brunette could almost read her thoughts, _Steam room? Meaning Anzu with just a towel on?_ Or possibly, _Pool? Meaning Anzu in that teeny-tiny bikini I talked her into bringing? And soaking wet?_

Dear God, what had she gotten herself into?

* * *

Nyah-ha poor Anzu! Mai's such a pervert! 


	14. Rebecca, Shizuka, Mokuba, and Noa

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Warnings: Mentioned Puppy shipping

* * *

Chapter14 Rebecca, Shizuka, Mokuba, and Noa

_Dear Santa, _

_I've been good this year aside from hacking into the databases of national leaders and the heads of various organizations around the world. But it's not like I've ever TAKEN anything! I just leave them a little note!_

_And besides, I need to keep my skills sharp in case I need to hack Kaiba's database again in an emergency situation. (Heh heh, he's still mad about that.)_

_But for Christmas I want two- no wait three- things for Christmas, a teddy-bear repair kit (I just CAN'T throw him away!), for people to stop talking to me in language a four-year old would find simplistic (well maybe not your average four-year old, but I'm sure I would have!), and for Kaiba to chill out. If he keeps it up he'll have a coronary, by the time he's twenty-five. His blood pressure must be through the roof!_

_I appreciate it!_

_Rebecca Hawkins_

"Done!" Rebecca announced, folding her letter and placing it in the pre-addressed envelope. "What about you, Shizuka?"

"Just about," her friend answered, as she looked down to re-read her letter before concluding it.

_Dear Santa,_

_I've been on my best behavior this year. Wait, let me rephrase that, the best behavior it's possible to be on when I live with Oba-san._

_I'm sorry, I know that sounds horrible but with what she's putting Onii-chan through it's the truth!_

_I can't stand to hear her speak so poorly of him, but I know I probably won't be able to change her mind. Although she did seem to be in deep thought when I left to catch the train to Domino to spend the holidays here. Maybe some of __THAT__ argument got through to her. I hope so._

_For Christmas I want this – _here several tries were scribbled out before the redhead had asked for the correct spelling and if she was using the correct word _– animosity to stop and for Seto-san and Onii-chan to have a wonderful Christmas together while we're at the lodge. I know they'll be grateful for the chance to sleep in Christmas Day at least._

Shizuka nodded to herself and signed her name, "I'm done too," she said reaching for her own envelope. Then glancing at the two boys who were pouring over their own letter together, the pair figured they'd save paper this way because they wanted the same thing though neither one said what.

Noa peered over his brother's shoulder (Mokuba had better penmanship):

_Dear Santa,_

_Well, we've (meaning Noa, and me, Mokuba) been good this year. We've listened to Seto and Jou and we haven't been __too__ disrespectful to the teachers who insist on believing that we're idiots. But Seto says not to respect anyone who doesn't do the same to you, soo… we can't both listen to Seto and be respectful to them, now can we?_

_And considering we asked Seto for anything material we want for Christmas we decided to ask you for a miracle. Make Seto's wish, any wish, selfish or not, that he makes this season come true. He's been so good to us and Jou and to so many people this year he deserves a miracle._

_In our eyes, he deserved a miracle a long time ago._

_Please,_

_Noa and Mokuba Kaiba_

The green-haired teenager nodded his approval. "We're done too. Now we just need to light the fire," he instructed.

"Why?" Rebecca asked, "Why don't we just mail them?"

Mokuba gave a small smile, "It's how my dad used to do it," he shrugged, "I've always liked the tradition, so did Seto."

Shizuka cocked her head in confusion, "Then why are we doing this while he's at work?"

"Because," Noa said softly, "it'd just depress him."

There was an awkward silence before Mokuba hurried off to the kitchen to get the matches.

(Meanwhile in the Kaiba kitchen)

Seto Kaiba's blonde boyfriend sat at the kitchen island, telephone in hand, listening impassively to the woman on the other end.

-"Something Shizuka said made me start thinking…"-

Jou did not ask what it was.

-"She said,"- the other pressed, -"that you can't change who you are but I can change how I see you."-

She sounded choked up… but then the woman had always had a flair for drama…

-"I never wanted to lose you, Katsuya. I never wanted to leave you, either. You understand that right?"

Again, he was silent.

-"I realize now that I had no right to treat you the way I did. Especially not when you needed me to be a mother."-

More silence, but instead of the stony variety of only a few minutes earlier, this was the waiting –with-bated-breath-and-poorly-concealed-hope kind.

-"Please, Katsuya, come home. There are two trains on Christmas Eve, one in the morning and one at night, you can leave as early as ten on the twenty-sixth, but please, I want you and I to set things right, as a family."-

"I'll think about it," Jou told her, the first words he'd spoken since 'Moshi moshi'.

-"Thank you."- _Click!_

The blonde sighed and rested his head on his arms, it was strange; he'd waited for that phone call for over five years and now, when it came, he felt… drained.

If just talking to her for five minutes sapped all of his energy how would he last two days with her? And what about Seto? Could he handle everything on his own?

But-

If anyone would understand not wanting to lose one's parents it would be Seto, he'd want Jou to go, the problem was that Jou didn't know if he wanted to go.

"Hey, Jonuchi?"

The blonde looked up and saw Mokuba in the doorway, "Yeah, what's up?"

"Are you alright?"

" 'M fine, just tired thassall."

"Oh, well I was just wondering if the matches got moved in one of Seto's reorganizing sprees."

"Nope, not that I know of."

" 'Kay," the younger crossed over to the counter and began fishing around in one of the large canisters there.

"What do you need matches for?"

"Oh we were going to light a fire in the living room… ah-HA! Gottem!"

"Why?" Jou wondered, the mansion was well heated after all.

"Ambiance, and we were thinking about making s'mores."

"Ambi-what?"

"Mood."

"Oh," Jou nodded, "Use some of those over sized forks for the s'mores and try not to drip marshmellow fluff onto the marble."

"Sure," Mokuba acknowledged, rooting around in the drawers for the aforementioned forks.

Glancing at the clock Jou stood up, "I gotta go meet Seto for lunch; have fun and try not to burn the house down."

"Well, there go our plans," he remarked sarcastically.

"Cute," the blonde told him as the pair headed to the foyer where they parted ways.

* * *

GACK! Where'd the humor go? When did it turn to drama?

Oh by the way last chappie: Shigure Shoma was mentioned cause I'm bad at making up names so it was a toss up between Fruba's Shigure and Gravatation's Eri Yuki who are both romance novelists. And Gure-san won. Not that anyone was asking I just thought I'd tell you.


	15. Lunch

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Warnings: Puppy shipping

* * *

Chapter 15 (I can't really call them Interludes anymore) Lunch

Seto stared at his lover across the table, the man sat there fiddling with his straw in a distracted manner as he had for the past ten minutes since he'd arrived.

"Katsu."

Nothing.

"Katsu."

Nothing.

"Katsuya."

No- wait! No he was just watching a fly.

Seto sighed, and kicked Jou under the table, just enough to get his attention.

The blonde jumped, "Oh Seto, when'd you get here? I was waitin'."

The CEO gave the other an incredulous look, "Jou, I beat you here."

"You did?" he blinked in surprise.

Seto nodded slowly.

"Oh."

"Katsuya, what's wrong? And don't you dare say it's nothing!" He added hastily as his boyfriend opened his mouth to say just that.

"…Oba-san called…"

Time seemed to stop and Seto vowed to throttle that woman (and he used the term loosely) if she'd said something to hurt his puppy, "And?" he asked hesitantly.

"She said she wants to work things out over the holidays," he murmured. " 'M not sure I should-"

"Go."

The blonde looked up, Seto was looking at him with a peculiar expression, a mix of necessity and … sadness?

"You deserve this chance, Katsuya. It's been tearing you up for years and you need this chance to heal yourself."

"Are you sure? I mean I know you don't want to be at the party just with my friends."

Something flashed in Seto's eyes too quickly for Jou to see what it was. "It's fine, if it comes to it I can barricade myself in my office."

The shorter male laughed at the image of his boyfriend shoving that huge mahogany desk against the door to keep Bakura and Marik out.

"When are you going to leave?" Seto asks.

"The twenty-fourth, if I miss the morning I can go on the evening train and I'll be back the day Christmas," Jou made sure to look his companion square in the eye as he asked, "you're sure you're okay with me leaving?"

Seto looked back at Jou and without batting so much as an eyelash said, "I'm positive, I'll even be able to get a jump on the New Year."

Jou mock-sighed, "Do you ever think about anything besides work?"

"Sometimes, about you, Mokuba, Noa, you."

The blonde smiled radiantly, feeling the energy his mother drained come surging back and then some.

(Kaiba Manor)

Jou sighed as he entered the mansion's main hall after lunch, he was glad he'd talked to Seto about his mom. The brunette always seemed to be able to calm him down and get him to utilize the rational part of his brain. Jou had even called and left a voice-mail message telling her he'd try and be on the morning train in a few days.

Peeling off his gloves, the blonde man shoved them into his pockets only to pause as a crinkling sound meets his ears.

Pulling the wrinkled envelope, for that's what it was, from his pocket he laughed at himself, "Little old to be writing to Santa, aren't you?"

Jou walked into the living room dropping his coat on the back of a chair and contemplated the letter in his hand. What had he even written? Better question: What the hell possessed him to write one? He was over twenty for God's sake!

Shaking his head at his own childishness he was about to throw it in the trash when a side-effect of being Seto Kaiba's lover kicked in. Be paranoid about blackmail. If it can be used against you, destroy it (provided 'it' is not a living creature (Jou added that amendment himself)).

So it ended up that the letter was thrown onto the dying embers of the fire the other four had made, and the evidence was slowly burned.

Incidentally, Jou had never heard of one being able to send letters to the North Pole via fireplace before…

* * *

The plot thickens! Muwah ha ha!! What was in Jou's letter find out next time in the chapter that I'm working on right now! Here's a little hint about the next chappie... BUNDLE UP! Laughs hysterically 


	16. North Pole

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

Warnings: OCs ... kinda I mean does Santa count as an OC?

* * *

Chapter 16 The North Pole

Santa had been in the wish business for a long time, several hundred years actually, but this year he'd come across something rather odd as he read through incoming letters from Domino City.

"Interesting," he murmured as he read the latest mail to arrive from one Katsuya Jonuchi.

_Dear Santa,_

_I only want one thing this year, I've given up on Oba-san being able to look at me again I don't think even you can pull that one off._

_This year I just want to see Seto smile like he used to. I know I shouldn't be snooping around in the attic but I was looking for that stupid angel that goes on top of the tree and I found this photo album._

_It was of Seto's family before Mokuba was born, when his mom was still alive (but she looked pretty far into her pregnancy). It was the Christmas pictures that really got to me. They were all gathered around the tree and Seto was grinning like an idiot. I want him to be that happy again._

_After everything he's been through he needs it._

_Yours truly,_

_Jonuchi_

"What's so interesting boss?" asked Cheryl as she entered the office toting the files of several Domino City residents as well as one Maximilian Pegasus as per request of the big guy.

Mr. Claus gestured to the files in his secretary's hands, "They all asked for basically the same thing."

"I'm not surprised," the young elf told him as she deposited the files on the ornate desk of her superior, "I don't even want to think about how many Transformers action figures we're sending out this year. It's like the G.I. Joe craze."

The man laughed, "They didn't ask for an object."

"Huh?"

"They asked for the happiness of one man."

"Why?"

The bearded man leaned back in his chair and lit his pipe, "I don't know. He seems important to all of them but from what I've gathered he doesn't seem to care much for them."

Cheryl frowned, "Who is this guy? I thought Ebenezer Scrooge died decades ago."

Santa chuckled again, "Seto Kaiba, matter of fact Cheryl, do you think you can scrounge up his file too?"

The blonde elf's frown deepened, "I don't think we keep files in the main building that long… I'd have to check with old Methuselah in the historical records."

Santa frowned, "Now stop calling him that, Merv's younger than I am, you know."

"Yeah," she quipped, going to her desk to call the other elf, "but he shows his age a lot more than you do."

About a half hour later, a grizzled old elf entered the office, his beard was as long as that of his boss but it was not nearly as well kept, scraggly and gray the same color of the bushy eyebrows that looked as though they were trying to replace whatever hair he'd used to have on his head.

In one gnarled hand he held a dusty old file with the name Seto Itsuki on it. "It was a bother tracking this one down, sir," Merv informed him. "Didn't know who he was until Cheryl told me his brother was Mokuba Itsuki."

"Their names are Kaiba now, Merv."

Merv snorted, "They were born Itsukis, that's what's on their files and that's the way it's going to stay on my end. Don't make sense to be changing the names when they get married or parents divorce and whatnot."

Cheryl was glowering, mocha eyes burning, at her predecessor behind the elderly male's back, she was the one who made that revision to the system when she became Santa's secretary.

Merv continued to grumble about the new system (all Cheryl's design) and how computers only encouraged elves to forget things- take him for instance, he remembered every name on every file ever to pass through his hands, over two hundred years of Christian children and even other denominations who decided to celebrate the holiday. Over his shoulder the normally good-natured female was throttling the air clearly wishing it was a certain someone's throat.

Santa cleared his throat, "Ahem, Merv? Perhaps you could just get the last letter he wrote."

"Of course, sir." Flipping the manila folder open with practiced ease, the elf withdrew a small pair of rock crystal spectacles from a pocket on his vest, polishing them a bit on the grimy fabric and doing nothing to improve visibility, nevertheless he perched them on his bulbous nose and read: " 'Dear Santa, I want a family again, for Christmas. A place where Mokuba and I are welcome, safe, and surrounded by people who care about us. I don't mind if they're a dysfunctional, weird, or even crazy family, so long as they're our family.' "

The 'jolly old elf' was solemn for a moment and blew a smoke ring. "Wasn't there something else in there, Merv?"

"Yes sir," he reported, "after the adoption we received another note," he cleared his throat, " 'If Gozoburo is your idea of safe and welcome, you have a sick mind.' "

Santa nodded and sighed, watching the smoke from the pipe rise toward the ceiling. All was quiet for a bit before a strange look crossed his features then he started to laugh, a small chuckle at first then the loud, hearty laughter he was known for, "Of course!" He cried, "The perfect gift!"

"Sir?" his employees asked in unison.

"Cheryl, get Jack on the phone, I need to call in some favors."

"Yes sir! Right away!"

"Merv, I'll need some help on this one. You up for it?"

"Of course sir."

"Splendid!" he cried. "Seto Kaiba we'll make a believer of you yet!"

* * *

giggles Brownie points to anyone who knows what Jack I'm talking about. And who can figure out what he's gonna do for Santa to help Seto. 


	17. Christmas EveEve

Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

Warnings: Another OC (who reminds me of Bakura) And Santa acting not very Santa-y

* * *

Chapter 17 Christmas Eve, Eve

Merv grunted as he half-fell off of the reindeer, "I'm getting too old for this."

Comet snorted as though in agreement, though it sounded suspiciously like laughter at the expense of the out of shape elf.

"Shut up," he growled stalking (well, more like waddling really, it'd been a long ride and he felt a little bow legged) toward the heating pipe that was his ticket into the apartment. He glared at the barrier, wishing for the immense chimneys of his hey-day when he'd ridden shotgun with the big guy.

He sighed, oh well, might as well get it over with. Reaching into the pouch at his waist he sprinkled the sparkling dust within over the pipe.

"3-C," he muttered and with a disturbing sucking noise the elf was pulled through the heating system of the building to emerge in the living room of Hiroto Honda and Ryuji Otogi.

And a large German Shepard who apparently didn't appreciate squat little bald men falling into her home from the ceiling.

"Nice doggy," Merv whispered in as placating a tone as his gravelly voice could manage.

The dog continued to growl, hackles raised. Merv squinted at the beast in the darkness, it seemed familiar… the elf began wracking his brain; Hiroto Honda… asked for a puppy almost eight years ago… a female.

"Good girl, you know me," he pleaded. "C'mon please don't eat me."

It was just his luck that the roly-poly pup had turned out to be such a good watchdog…

"I don't have time for this." Merv reached into the pouch at his waist again and blew the dust toward the still snarling animal. "Sleep," he ordered.

She was snoring before she hit the ground.

Grunting, the elf hitched up his sagging trousers and waddled toward the bedroom. Was a day when he didn't need any help with his magic, he could have knocked that mutt out just by telling her. Now he needed magic dust… disgraceful…

_Speaking of disgraceful,_ he thought, looking into the bedroom and seeing the two lying restfully in bed together. Shaking his head the cue ball waddled to the larger male with a trash can next to the night stand. Maybe he was old fashioned, Merv mused, but two young people should not be sleeping together unless they were married. Shame that a silly thing like gender should prevent them from keeping sex between marriage partners.

_Oh well,_ he concluded, he wasn't here to petition the Japanese government to legalize homosexual marriage, just to work a little magic.

A few pinches of powder and two incantations later, there was no sign an elf had been at all save for a faint glimmer in the air as magic went to work settling a certain brunette's stomach and some strange looking footprints in the snow on the roof…

(North Pole)

The door to Father Christmas's office flew open.

"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?"

Cheryl's meek voice came over the intercom, "Mr. Frost to see you sir."

Santa barely glanced up from the list he was re-checking, "Morning, Jack, I assume you got my message?"

The sprite of winter leaned on the elf's desk, icy temperatures rolled off him in waves, freezing the better known persona's coffee where it stood.

The owner of said coffee looked at the cup and sighed, "I wish you wouldn't do that, Jack."

The blue-skinned sprite ignored him, "Give me one good reason why I should give up the biggest blizzard Tokyo has ever seen just so two little insignificant MORTALS can make it to their little insignificant CHRISTMAS PARTY!"

"You owe me," Santa stated simply.

Jack scoffed, "Oh brilliant argument, Nick. I can see why you're the big boss around here." He plopped down in one of the armchairs opposite the desk and bared his pointy teeth in a snarl at his companion, "And really, Nick, stalling planes? It's beneath me."

"Fair point," Santa acknowledged. "So how about this: you freeze over the landing strips in Cairo, people will be talking about that for years, get a good hard snow with zero visibility in New York, let Tokyo get a breather long enough to let the girls get clear, and start a whole new blizzard blocking all the roads up to the mountains from Domino."

Frost ran a hand through his white hair as he thought that one over, he always had wanted to wreak wintry havoc in Egypt, but he'd never had a reason to before. And Santa didn't specify he only had to freeze the runway…

"After this I'm done? No more favors?"

"Clean slate."

"Then we have a deal," the sprite said standing to leave.

"Oh, Jack?"

He paused and turned to see Santa grinning at him and holding up his coffee cup.

"On your way out could you ask Cheryl to send in some fresh coffee?"

Needless to say, Jack slammed the door on his way out.

* * *

Doesn't Jack remind you of Kura? Or maybe Malik? 


	18. Departure

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

Warnings: Puppy shipping

A/N: I'M SO SORRY!!!!! I meant for this story to be done today but do to family activities I haven't been able to work on it as much as I've hoped. So now I aim to have it completed before the new year.

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Chapter 18 Departure

(7:00 a.m.)

"Are you three sure you have everything you need?" Jou asked for the third time in the last five minutes.

"Unless something got out of my suitcase and walked away since the last time you asked, yes, Jou," Mokuba told him.

Shizuka swatted her kind-of-sort-of-but-not-quite boyfriend's arm, "We're sure Onii-chan."

"We checked everything twice, Jou-kun," Noa informed the blonde from where he watched the driveway for Professor Hawkins's car.

Katsuya sniffed, "Well, I just got the feeling that we're forgetting something."

Seto entered the room, "Puppy, do you have everything you need packed?"

"ACK!" Jou ran upstairs to get his things ready.

The three youngsters chuckled at the elder's forgetfulness as Seto simply shook his head a minute smile playing about his lips.

"REBECCA'S HERE!" Noa called excitedly, scrambling to gather his things.

A few minutes later, the car was loaded, the bathrooms had been used, dire threats were issued to ensure good behavior (in Seto's case), hugs and pepper-spray had been given (in Jou's case), pepper-spray had been returned, pepper-spray had been snuck into a coat pocket and then finally confiscated by Seto, and the skiers were ready to go.

"I'll make sure they call when we get there," the professor assured the couple as he left.

"Thanks, Prof." Jou said, "Drive safe!"

The car's occupants waved as they pulled out onto the street.

Seto turned to his boyfriend, "Now are you packed?"

Jou beamed, "Yup!" Then he frowned, "Are you sure you're alright with me leaving?"

"Yes," the brunette told him as they went to fetch Jou's bag.

"I mean are you positive?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"You're stalling, Katsu."

He scowled, "No I'm not!"

"Yes you are. I want you to go, if I didn't I would have said so, okay?"

Jou sighed and leaned into his boyfriend's shoulder, "I know that. I'm just nervous."

"Don't be," Seto advised, "you're the one in control. You're coming to her because she asked you to; you hold all the cards. If you don't think she's changed you're the one can leave."

"That sounds like a strategy for a business meeting," the blonde said suspiciously.

"It is."

Sigh, "What am I going to do with you, Seto?"

"Not a damn thing," he told his lover as they entered the bedroom. Seto lifted Jou's duffel from the bed and handed the shorter his coat.

"Uh-huh," he said skeptically, observing Seto's actions both of which would have never happened before the two started dating.

The brunette paused, looked at the duffel and the coat, seemingly read the blonde's mind, glared a bit, and said, "Shut up."

Jou just chuckled as he pulled on his coat, "I always knew you were just a big old teddy bear."

"I am not!"

He just laughed some more, "Come on, if we want to eat breakfast before the train we have to go."

Domino Train Station (9:30 a.m.)

Seto pulled into a parking space and killed the engine.

"I don't need an escort, Seto," Jou pointed out as the other unbuckled.

"I know," he replied, reaching into his pocket. "I just couldn't reach this with my seatbelt on."

A small gift was produced; it was a bit larger than the palm of Jou's hand and expertly wrapped. "Here," Seto said, "Open it whenever you do gifts."

The blonde smiled as he accepted the package, "Thank you, Seto." He leaned over to peck his lover's cheek but was not too upset when the other captured his lips in a passionate kiss instead.

But alas, all good things must come to an end and the pair eventually parted, panting a bit for air.

"See you soon, Katsuya," Seto breathed.

"Yeah," Jou murmured not moving.

The brunette smiled and gently pointed out, "You're going to miss your train."

That got the other moving, he pulled his duffel from the backseat, waved off Seto's offer of assistance, and paused before shutting the passenger-side door.

"Are you su-"

"GO!" Seto commanded sternly, his expression laughing even though his tone was sharp.

"Okay, okay," the blonde said, holding his hands up in surrender, "I'm going."

Seto watched his lover disappear into the station then sighed, now what was he going to do?


	19. I Cant Think of a Title

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

Warnings: None

* * *

Chapter 19 I can't think of a title

(12 noon Yokohama)

When Jou stepped off of the train he was mildly surprised to see his mother waiting at the end of the platform, wringing her hands worriedly and craning her neck to see her son's distinctive blonde hair.

He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, considering his chances of ducking back onto the train, getting off at the next stop and calling Seto for a ride home when the woman's face lit up and made her way toward the young man.

"Katsuya!" she cried, genuinely happy to see him. "I'm so glad you made it!"

"Hi, Oba-san," Jou offered weakly.

"How was your trip?" she asked, "Are you hun- oh who am I kidding?" Mrs. Kawaii laughed at herself, "You're always hungry."

The duelist laughed with her but was honestly far too nervous to eat anything, so he lied, "Actually, Seto and I had a huge breakfast before I left so I'm alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but if you want to stop somewhere to pick something up I don't mind."

She sighed, "Actually, I'm too nervous to eat."

"Yeah," Katsuya confessed, "me too."

The pair looked at one another and laughed, _I can do this,_ Jou thought, glad that Seto'd encouraged him to come.

(Meanwhile, Domino City with Honda and Ryuji)

"Let me get this straight," Ryuji said slowly, "you're telling me that you're completely cured?"

"Never felt better," Honda told him, scratching Blankey behind the ears.

The smaller male's eyebrow twitched, "BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" he exploded. "You were puking your guts out yesterday!"

Honda shrugged, "Hey, I don't get it either, but unlike you I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth."

(Kaiba Manor)

_Well this is boring,_ Seto thought. He'd done everything he could do, work-wise through April, reorganized his entire office, came up with three dozen new strategies to use against Yami, alphabetized the video game, CD, DVD, and VHS collections, and was currently lying on the living room sofa, seriously contemplating braving the attic to sort through everything up there.

And it was just now lunchtime.

Damn, why had he never noticed how large and empty his house was?

It was almost unsettling, it reminded him of when Gozoburo was alive and everyone was afraid to make noise, for fear of bringing the tyrant's wrath down upon them…

That did it.

Seto got up and stalked toward the door, pausing only to grab his wallet and to bundle up against the cold. After all, there was nothing that said he had to stay home all day…

As the door shut the telephone rang and once the machine picked up Ryuji's voice could be heard, -"Hey, Kaiba, Hiroto's made a complete recovery so we'll be there tonight. Hope you don't mind the late R.S.V.P."-


	20. Still Can't think of a title

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

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Chapter 20

(Domino International Airport)

Ryo Bakura was staring wide-eyed at the weather report. "How?" he whispered.

The hikari's travel companion chuckled, "I am as confused as you are yadonushi."

"It's EGYPT, how can it snow? Let alone freeze over?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, but until they clear that mess up, we're not going anywhere."

Ryo sighed, "Yeah, I guess."

The pair wandered around a bit, occasionally stopping to check the status of their flight, still delayed, but mostly just people-watching and preventing Bakura from stealing from passerby and airport shops.

They'd just bought lunch at a small café near the gate their plane was supposed to arrive at when-

"BAKURA!"

The former tomb robber found himself tackled by a certain crazed Egyptian yami.

"Marik?" Ryo asked, "What are you doing here?" Then the light caught sight of the rest of the Ishtar clan hurrying to catch up to their psychotic charge, Malik in the lead.

A few minutes later the albinos discovered that the Ishtars were due at an exhibit opening in New York City but their flight was also delayed due to low visibility and poor landing condititons.

"A bit strange though," Ishizu mused, "all of the other flights seem to be running smoothly, it's only ours that are having the troubles."

Malik nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it's like we're being jerked around by some quasi-all-powerful being, like a spirit, or a demigod, or a fanfiction author…"

That last one got some raised eyebrows around the table and Rishid and Ryo looked like they wanted to ask but they decided it was better for the sanity of everyone if they did not.

Bakura, already bored with the small-talk and not wanting to piss his lover off by doing something illegal began looking around until his gaze alighted on the flight displays.

"Oh well, that's just peachy."

"What is?" Marik asked, looking confused as he'd just been pulled from his favorite passtime of Malik-watching.

"Both of our flights just got cancelled."

Rishid frowned, "Highly unusual…"

Malik beamed, "But that means we can go to the party!"

"It would seem that way…" Ryo murmured, a bit put out that he wouldn't be able to see his father over the holdays… again…

"Look at it this way, Ryo," Bakura offered in a rare show of compassion, "This will be way more interesting…"

(Domino City Park)

Seto sighed in bliss, he had a hot cup of coffee, a bench that was dry all to himself, and peace and quiet that was actually peaceful instead of eerie.

It was nice.

(Tokyo)

Anzu looked out the hotel window, "Mai!" She cried, "The snow's clearing up!"

"Say what?" The blonde turned from the mirror she was fixing her hair in to turn on the weather report.

The two girls listened to the anchor for a bit then looked at one another and grinned.

"Let's get going while the going's good," the younger suggested.

"Totally," the elder agreed.

It took a record setting fifteen minutes for the couple to pack, checkout, and get on the highway back home.

(Downtown Domino)

An American Christmas carol was playing over the city's speakers, 'Silver Bells', Seto found the lyrics oddly fitting as he wound his way through very-last-minute shoppers.

He'd have to remember to bring Katsuya downtown next year, the window displays were stunning…

(En route to Holiday Lodge)

Professor Hawkins frowned as he saw the barricades, had there been an accident?

The slowing of the car, roused the snoozing passengers from their light slumber.

"Are we there already?" Noa asked sleepily.

"No, we're not," the proffesor told him as he rolled down his window. "Excuse me, officer, was there an accident up ahead?"

The policeman in question walked over to the vehicle, "No sir, there was a freak blizzard. All of the mountain roads are closed until further notice. It's best if you just head on home, even when they open back up I wouldn't recommend them. Too icy."

The elderly man nodded, "Yes thank you, officer."

Mokba groaned in the backseat, "Man, what a bummer. We were half way there!"

Shizuka glanced at the clock, 1:00 pm. "Well, we'll still make it back about an hour before the party."

Rebecca's stomach growled. "I vote for lunch at the first restaurant we see, first."


	21. Nick

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

No warnings

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Chapter 21 Nick

(Duelist Kingdom)

Maximilian J. Pegasus, even without the Millennium Eye, was not a man easily surprised however at the moment the man was dumbstruck.

If anyone has ever had to wait for a plumber, electrician, or some such professional who promises to arrive between the hours of eight and three and had said 'professional' arrive the next day at eight p.m. (a very slight exaggeration) they would understand why the silver-haired CEO was shocked to find that the representative from the security company arrived fifteen minutes before he'd been due and completed the installation an hour ahead of schedule.

Not only that, but everything had been done to the artist's satisfaction, the first time.

As the helicopter bearing the technician headed for the mainland Pegasus checked his pocket-watch. "Hmm, it would seem that I'll be able to attend Kaiba-boy's little gathering after all."

(Kame Game Shop)

As anyone would tell you, Yugi Moto does not get angry, and he wasn't, just… frustrated.

"A business party?" Yugi asked his mother. "What ever happened to a nice quiet holiday with just family?"

Mrs. Moto sighed as she held up first one earring then the other, "I know, Yugi. I would rather stay home too, but it's important to your father. And it's not the first time you'd be with your grandfather for Christmas Eve."

"I know that, but I was kind of hoping he'd actually keep his promise, though."

The woman winked at her son, "Then don't keep yours."

"Huh?"

"Spend time with your friends tonight, take Sugoroku-kun too if you can talk him into it."

Yugi grinned, "I think I'll do that."

She smiled at her son as he left then went back to her earring dilemma. Yugi popped his head back into her doorway, "Ba-chan, those gold hoops from your birthday would match your dress better."

She grinned at her son this time, "Thank you." Who needed a daughter to help with fashion emergencies when you had a son who coordinated his entire wardrobe to match?

(Yokohama)

Jou was very glad he'd come. It was as though the past five years had never happened.

Of course at first there were the bumbling apologies, the nonchalant 'Don't worry about it' s, and other such things but once they were over and done with, the blonde duelist remembered something he'd long since forgotten.

He loved his mother.

He'd spent so long resenting her for leaving him with his father, then angry and saddened by her initial rejection of his sexuality that he'd forgotten that, when he was younger he adored her, and Shizuka.

The only women he'd ever love, he told her jokingly when she asked if there was even the slightest chance of getting grandchildren from him.

She'd responded with 'Then you and Kaiba-san had better start filling out paperwork, I want a Guatemalan adopted grandchild before I'm fifty.'

That was another thing he'd forgotten about her, she had a dry sense of humor and a quick wit that reminded him of Seto. She was fun, not like Katsuya's loud crude humor, but again, much like Seto's quiet and droll observations.

They'd spent most of the afternoon bonding over tea when it happened.

_Ding-dong!_

"Whozzat?" Jou asked her.

"Oh dear," she murmured, and not answering her son's question she went to the door.

In spite of himself the blonde strained to hear the conversation.

"I asked you not to come," his mother was saying, "Katsuya's here."

"WHAT?"

Crap, Jou knew that voice, his straight-laced priest of an uncle, also one of the main influences in his mother's decisions.

_Better to avoid a confrontation,_ he thought and grabbed his duffel, glad he hadn't unpacked or anything.

"Don't worry about getting rid of him, Oba-san," Jou told her on his way out. "I'll just catch the train home tonight; we can get together after the holidays. You could come to Domino and meet Set."

"Katsuya, you don't have to-"

"Nah, I'd rather not cause trouble; I'll be alright," he assured her, brushing past his glowering uncle.

(Yokohama Train Depot)

With a half hour before the train arrived Jou decided to open Seto's gift, _Wonder what it is?_ He thought as he pulled it from his coat pocket.

Once the paper was removed the blonde could see a velvet box that one would get at a jeweler's. Opening it he could not hold back a gasp.

It was a locket.

Card-shaped.

Exactly like the ones that hung around the necks of the three Kaiba brothers.

His hands were shaking as he clicked it open, inside was a photo from last year's Christmas party. All of his friends and Seto were crowded around Ryo's Christmas tree smiling brightly; even Seto had managed a slightly kinder smirk than normal.

He could not wait to thank Seto for it and vowed to glomp the brunette the minute he returned as he slipped the leather cord around his neck.

Jou even managed to convince himself that his nose was running from the cold of the night.

(Some random outdoor Domino City location)

Okay, he was bored again.

And feeling pretty cynical… again.

He shouldn't have gone to the mall, or at least he shouldn't have stopped by the Santa's Village. All of those brats begging for ponies and other extravagant items with enormous price tags had annoyed the hell out of him.

Lord, had he ever been like that?

_I hope not,_ he thought watching a pair of harassed looking parents dragged a bawling child from a toy store.

"Most outgrow that stage eventually."

"For the parent's sake I hope it's soon," Seto replied.

Wait a minute…

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The old man smiled at him, "Call me Nick."

"Nick?"

"That's right." He looked up at the starry sky, "Nice night isn't it?"

The youth looked up as well and got a large snowflake right in the eye, "I suppose," he responded and began to walk away.

The rotund geezer followed him, "Of course it'd be nicer if there was someone to share it with."

"Hn."

The unlikely pair paused to let a cheery couple pass them by, a small child between them.

"I remember when mine was that small," Fatso murmured, "'Course that was years ago. Now not even the Grandkids are that young."

"Fascinating," Seto offered sarcastically.

"What about you? You got family?"

"None of your business."

"Kids are that bad, huh?"

"I don't have kids."

"Siblings then?"

"Hn."

"Wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I'm an only child. Still, I wouldn't mind a big family. You'd always have someone to turn to."

"Family's an illusion."

"They say that blood's thicker than water."

"Blood's still not a guarantee," the brunette told him, thinking of the relatives who abandoned himself and Mokuba at that godforsaken orphanage.

"Suppose not, you'll always have some relatives you want to ditch, crazy uncles for example."

"Deranged stepfathers."

"But then there's the family you'd give a kidney to if they needed it."

"Only a kidney?" he asked, this time thinking of his young brothers.

"You have relatives like that?" Nick asked, damn now Seto was thinking his name.

"Hn," ignore the moron and maybe he'll go away.

"Why aren't you with them, then?"

"They're all off doing their own thing," aw crap it wasn't working.

"What about a girlfriend?"

Silence.

"Boyfriend?"

"With family." _Dammit, Seto! STOP TALKING!_

"What about your crazy relatives?"

"Don't have any."

Nick shrugged diplomatically, "Maybe you have more than you think, Seto, it's not blood or adoption papers that make a family, you know. It's the feelings you have for them."

"Did you read that in a fortune cookie?" Wait a- "How did you know my name?"

The old man just smiled, "Go home, Seto. I hear there's going to be a family reunion tonight."

A car honked and Seto looked up, just for an instant, when he looked back Nick was gone.

As he walked home the CEO tried to tell himself that he was only returning because he was cold.


	22. A Party and an Ending

Dear Santa, I Can Explain...

Warnings: Language, yaoi kissing, crude humor, alcohol consumpiton in excess

A/N: Appriciate this! This chapter is NINE PAGES! And over two thousand words! I'm glad this is the finale, but at the same time I'm sad to see it go. sniff

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Chapter 22 A Party and an Ending

_Why is there a cab in my driveway?_ Seto wondered. The vehicle, apparently having already dispatched its passenger began to slowly work its way down the icy drive that led to Kaiba Manor.

Seto frowned as the luridly painted car passed him but continued to his front door. It was unlocked. _He was supposed to call if something went wrong._

"Katsu?" he called pushing the large door open.

A mechanized voice was telling someone, presumably the CEO's blonde lover, that they'd listened to all of the messages on the machine.

The brunette heard Jou before he saw the other the sound of running was his only warning before…

He was punched in the face?

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yelled honestly unsure if he was angry or just plain confused. He hadn't been hit by the other male since before high school graduation.

Jou on the other hand looked positively livid, "You were going to be here, for the next three days, all ALONE?" It was not a question really, because the blonde obviously knew the answer.

No point in denying it, hopefully he would be well thought of after his death. "Yes."

His puppy huffed and promptly tackled the taller male, "You idiot. You coulda come with me. She wouldn't have minded." He kissed the cheek that had been subject to his rage, "I didn't mean to hit ya."

"I've gotten worse," Seto told him, "from you, actually. Now, why are you home early and how did you find out?"

"Aw my uncle showed up and kinda killed the whole bonding thing, I didn't want to be the cause of anything, and besides we got everything worked out. By the way thanks for the locket. I love it."

The brunette smiled, "I thought you would. But what about my second question, puppy?"

"Everybody left messages on the machine saying that their plans fell through and now they can come."

"WHAT?"

Jou checked his watch, "Actually, they'll be here in a few-"

_DING-DONG!_

He chuckled sheepishly, "Then again my watch has always been a little slow…"

The door was pushed open, "Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus exclaimed upon seeing the pair sprawled on the marble floor, "I understand you two love each other, but really! Such things are best left in the bedroom."

Seto looked furious, but Katsuya offered a weak, "Hi, Pegasus" out of politeness before climbing to his feet, hauling his boyfriend up afterwards.

The brunette found a bottle of wine promptly shoved into his hands, "Not to be insulting, Kaiba-boy but I highly doubt one of your youth has acquired the taste required to select fine wine, so I brought my own!"

Seto looked like he was strangling the bottle, "Of course you weren't being insulting…" he snarled viciously.

It was possibly quite fortuitous for Pegasus that the ski expedition returned at that time, dragging their luggage with them.

"Man, Seto!" Mokuba told him, "You wouldn't BELIEVE the blizzard that sprung up."

Noa nodded, "Yeah it was the weirdest thing too, all of the snow was right around the roads, and heading home it was totally clear."

Professor Hawkins looked apologetic, "I hope our return doesn't put too much of a damper on your plans."

Jou waved it aside, "Don't worry about it, I can guarantee Seto's plans weren't ruined." Here he shot a poisonous glance at his lover which went ignored.

Pegasus seemed to decide to play host for a bit for he exclaimed, "Professor Arthur Hawkins! A pleasure to meet you at last! I must say I've heard a fair amount about you from your granddaughter. You know I'm a bit of an amateur Egyptologist myself."

"Amateur is right," Seto grumbled.

"Oh Kaiba-boy are you still here?"

"It's my house!"

"Humph, well do something useful and get some glasses for that wine. From what I've seen you're making a terrible host."

_I'll kill that bastard! I'll bludgeon him to death with his own goddamn wine!_

"Um, why is everyone in the entryway, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi asked, having entered with his yami and grandfather in tow through the still open door.

Pegasus gasped in an entirely far too dramatic manner and cried, "Why Kaiba-boy how uncouth! Not even inviting us in? You brute!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO-"

"Seto! Why don't you see about that booze?" Jou cried shoving his boyfriend in the direction of the kitchen.

(Meanwhile in Kaiba's kitchen)

Merv grunted in satisfaction as he surveyed his work, the food was prepared, wine was chilled, sodas were available for the underage or alcohol intolerant, all that was left was for someone to carry it all out to the dining room or wherever the food was going to be served.

"Stupid Pegasus, barging into people's houses like he owns them…"

The elf froze as a certain CEO's grumblings paused upon seeing the food laid out on the kitchen island.

"What the-" footsteps approached the counter hurriedly and Merv was grateful that he was on the other side of the island, invisible from Seto's point of view. But then-

"Achoo!" Damn.

"Who's there?"

The elf stayed silent. Seto began to prowl around the island and Merv shuffled around the other way as quickly as he could but it seemed that Seto's prowl was faster.

"HOLD IT!"

A strong grip pulled the small creature to the brunette's eyelevel. "What the hell are you?"

Well, nothing to be gained by lying, "An elf."

An eyebrow was raised, "Riiight. I'm really supposed to believe that, instead of making shoes, elves are making dinner now?"

"Well, excuse me! But your wish required more hands on! Healing people, calling in favors from Mr. Frost…"

"My what?"

"Wish," he answered while fervently hoping he had the magic in him to at least transport himself outside, he couldn't reach his pouch of magic dust the way he was being held aloft.

"Hey, Seto?" The addressed turned toward the door. Jou poked his head in. "What's taking so- WHOA! Who made the food?"

"He di-" when Seto turned back to face his captive, the self-proclaimed elf was gone, and all he held in his hand was an envelope with the name Seto Itsuki on it. The CEO began looking around frantically.

"Uh, lose something?"

"Katsu, did you see a midget run out of here?"

"A midget?"

"Is there an echo in here? Yes a fat, bald midget with a scraggly beard who looked like a hobo!"

The blonde eyed the bottle in Seto's hand, "You haven't broken into that yourself have you?"

Glaring lightly he assured the other, "It's still full, Katsu."

"Seto, why would a midget be in the kitchen?"

"Apparently, he was making the food."

"Uh-huh. And where is he now?"

"I don't know!"

"Oookaay, what's in the envelope then?"

Seto paused, glanced at said item, grew pale at the name on it, and slowly tore it open.

_Dear Seto,_

_I know it's been a long time since you asked, but it takes time for such familial ties to form. They're dysfunctional, weird, and crazy but, whether you admit it or not, you care about them, and would be lost without your new family._

_Signed,_

_Nick, Saint Nick_

"Seto?" Jou asked.

"Practical joke," the brunette told him, tearing the note and throwing it into the garbage can.

"You look pale."

"I thought it was something else. Here," he said, "help me carry some of this stuff out."

(A few hours later)

"I'll never be able to listen to that song with a straight face again," Honda commented.

"I'll never be able to look at Bakura with a straight face again," Seto muttered half to himself. Though judging by a few murmurs of agreement he was louder than he thought.

No one knew where Bakura had found the tattered old Santa hat, nor how he knew the lyrics to Marilyn Monroe's 'Santa Baby', but people could guess where he'd found enough alcohol to get drunk enough to sing said song, surprisingly well, while wearing said Santa hat.

Marik and Malik laughed uproariously, as Bakura followed the performance by mistaking Moto-san for Santa and planting himself in the man's lap, loudly asking for toys of an adult nature until Ryo dragged his dark off a now-traumatized game shop owner.

Seto and Jou thought it was funny as well until their siblings asked what exactly said items were for.

"I'll tell you when you can stop giggling at the diagrams in the Sexual Education chapter in your health book," Seto told his brothers dryly.

"Ask Oba-san," Jou told Shizuka, "but tell her you heard it from a random drunk in passing."

Fortunately, Rebecca had simply burst into a fit of giggles and it didn't even cross her mind to ask, much to the Professor's obvious relief.

"I am confused," Rishid admitted, "why did Bakura ask for a flightless bird that is extinct?"

Everyone stared at him in confusion for a minute until Otogi said, "No, he said dildo, Rishid, not dodo."

"Ah, yes that makes sense. But what purpose would it serve to get jewelry for a rooster?"

That one took a minute, but Malik eventually said, "That's not what a cock ring is, brother."

"Then what…?"

Ishizu patted his hand, "Maybe I'll tell you when you're older."

The poor Egyptian looked even more confused when those who knew what said item was burst out laughing. At least until Marik leaned over and whispered in his ear; then he simply looked greatly disturbed.

"W-why would they-? Mistress Ishizu, would you be so kind as to hand me the wine?"

"If you want, Rishid," Marik offered, "hikari and I can show you later!"

"NO!" the man cried, "I assure you, Master Marik, that is highly unnecessary!"

Marik shrugged, "Your loss."

Seto chuckled as he took a sip of his wine, even he had to grudgingly admit, that Pegasus knew his grapes.

"Excuse me, Marik-san?" Shizuka asked, "Could you show me later? I'm kind of curious myself."

Seto choked, spraying the beverage everywhere. Jou quickly stood up and bellowed his disapproval.

"I don't think your brother approves," Malik said dryly, "I know I sure as hell don't! And I'm not even a responsible human being!"

Seto continued to choke, causing great alarm, until everyone realized what was really happening.

He was laughing.

It wasn't a chuckle; it wasn't malicious; it wasn't a cackle. It was laughter. And everyone in the room was astonished.

He quickly composed himself, but everyone was staring by the time he stopped, he quickly coughed and muttered something about paper towels, before beating a hasty retreat.

Shizuka glanced around nervously in his absence and asked in the dead silence of the living room, "Did I say something wrong?"

That did it.

Everyone in the room, save Shizuka, burst into hysterics. Yugi was having difficulty breathing by the time Kaiba returned with a handful of paper towels to mop up the liquid he'd sprayed.

When he looked at the girl, quizzical eyebrow raised, all she could do was shrug.

(A few more hours later)

_It's got to be the wine,_ Seto told himself, _I'm completely wasted and __that's__ why I'm enjoying myself so much._ Unfortunately, even being able to reason that out blew gaping holes in his own theory.

But he couldn't think of another explanation, he had never enjoyed himself this much in such company before. He tolerated them, yes, but he'd never really enjoyed himself.

Now, though…

A few moments had ground his nerves (most of them involving Pegasus) but he felt comfortable in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. It reminded him of the way he felt around Jou and his brothers only… warmer, almost.

Like that feeling had been multiplied exponentially.

He peered alternately into the depths of his, -what? Fourth, fifth? - wineglass and around the room at his fellow partygoers. Occasionally, he would smile or laugh at the actions or words of his companions. Once or twice he interjected a comment into the conversations closest to him.

It was another few minutes of this before he realized what it was.

He felt… at home… like part of a family… it was large, dysfunctional, weird and even crazy; it had crazy uncles, and people to turn to for advice, it had those he'd offer a kidney to if he could, and there were petty sibling rivalries.

"My wish…" he whispered, so softly that he barely heard himself.

"Hey, guys!" Yugi called, "Let's get the picture taken before anyone leaves!"

Shaking himself from his startling realization Seto stood and after setting his glass down moved to the tree for the annual photo shoot.

He and Jou took their usual places near the back, being among some of the taller people there, around them stood Rishid, Mai, Honda, Ishizu, and Pegasus. Rebecca was setting up the camera and after glancing through the viewfinder took her seat in the front row.

Looking at her laptop which was connected to the camera she was able to position everyone, zoom, and trigger the photo without having anyone run to get into the shot.

"Ishtar-san, I need you to move a little closer to everyone else."

Rishid moved accordingly.

"Okay I think that, Oh! Kaiba-kun Jou-kun! Mistletoe!" she cried with far too much glee.

""Eh?"" The two asked simultaneously before looking up to see the girl was correct.

Seto smirked wickedly before gripping the blonde around the waist and, bending forward, kissed the slightly surprised man breathless to hoots of encouragement, laughter, and the flash of Rebecca's camera.

"Nice shot everyone!" the girl congratulated.

"Rebecca!" someone cried.

"Take another one!"

In the back, Jou looked, shocked, at his boyfriend, "What was that for?" he panted.

Seto just shrugged, "I wanted to."

And then the most amazing thing happened, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp., the Ice Prince himself, smiled.

_No, smile doesn't do it justice,_ Jou thought, he grinned, grinned like an absolute idiot. And as the camera flashed again, all Katsuya Jonuchi could think was, _He should grin like that more often._

(Kaiba Manor, 12:30 a.m.)

Everyone had gone home hours ago, the younger siblings of Seto and Jou were sleeping in their own rooms, and the elder two were curled on the couch closest to the fireplace in the living room.

Jou was fast asleep; he didn't even notice that his pillow was writing a note that consisted of one word on a piece of Kaiba Corp. letterhead although the Kaiba Corp. symbols were crossed out.

He folded the paper in half, wrote a name on it, and carefully eased his boyfriend off of him and then down onto the couch.

Walking the few steps to the hearth Seto pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit the paper on fire then threw it into the grate. As it burned the word was visible: _Thanks._ It was signed Seto Itsuki and addressed to one St. Nick…

As he settled back down onto the couch with his lover, he heard bells pass by overhead and he smiled a soft, secret smile before whispering to no one, and every one, "Merry Christmas."

-OWARI-

* * *

A/N Ha! I beat my backup deadline by one day! No epilouge so don't beg! PLEASE DON'T BEG! This story is over! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! 


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